Another day, another doctor

I went for my first doctor appointment here at Fort Huachuca this morning. Despite one setback, it went surprisingly well considering the bad service I received while in Georgia. I told the nurse at the beginning of the appointment that I had had a miscarriage about a month ago and she wrote that down. I didn’t cry which was great. However, about 10 minutes later she asked when my last LMP was and I told her January 6. She then proceeded to ask if my cycles are always that long and irregular (They are long and irregular but that’s besides the point in this case). I had to remind her of the whole miscarriage thing and I lost it. Good thing for tissues. Good news is that I got my referral put in to see a reproductive endocrinologist. I’m hoping that he/she will work out better than the last doctor who I saw. He basically wouldn’t give me the time of day during any appointment I had with him. Over the course of 8 months, I saw him once. I usually ended up speaking to the PA for 5 minutes before I was pushed out of the examination room. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do about it because this was the only doctor that Tricare would refer me to. I’m hoping the new doctor works out better. The only drawback is that I have to go to Tucson for my appointments. I guess an hour drive each way will be worth it if we can figure out what’s going on with my body.

I’m also feeling pretty crappy about myself. I was supposed to be 15 weeks today and now it feels like we have to go back to the drawing board. I saw on Facebook the other day that a friend from college is expecting twins in October, which was when I should have been due. Is it wrong to not feel happy about someone’s great news? Is it bad to resent pregnant women right now? I feel bad that I feel this way but it’s hard not to feel this way.

I don’t know what I could have done differently to prevent this from happening. Probably nothing, but it’s still hard to accept. I thought after trying and trying for almost 2 years, that this would have been it. I guess not..


2 thoughts on “Another day, another doctor

  1. Katie

    Girl, you have every right to be unhappy! There is a girl on FB who splashes things all over it of how she is feeling, her first haircut being pregnant, how sick she feels, taking a walk with her growing baby in her…it takes every ounce of strength in me not to e-mail her! It is hard…I cannot even try nor did we even get a chance! I feel some of your pain! No I have not tried for 2 years and no I have not lost a baby but I do feel your pain because that dream of mine has been taken from me for this time in our lives! It too shall pass…we will one day be sitting on rockers and being thankful for our little ones running around! Blessings and prayers for you!

  2. Emi

    Found your blog today via :)My DH & I have been struggling with TTC for over 2 years now and our first IUI last year gave me my first BFP ever, but it ended in a m/c. I understand how you feel completely. I'm so glad you're getting a referral to a REAL fertility doctor!Please don't beat yourself up over not being super thrilled about everyone else getting pregnant – it's perfectly normal. As my Aunt says, "You don't have to like it that their pregnant, just don't punch them in the nose when they talk…" *giggles*Hang in there!!


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