Mixed emotions


I have been feeling a mix of emotions over the last couple of days. I’ve been happy, sad, angry, nervous, and frustrated about different things. I really should stop checking Facebook, or start hiding people. I found out that another friend is pregnant. I’m happy for her but at the same time frustrated because she already has a 1 year old son and I can’t even have 1 baby.

I had my job interview last Friday. I was very surprised when I showed up and found out that there were 10 people interviewing for 6 spots. The program director said that she wouldn’t make decisions for a week or two. If I’m chosen, it still would be another month before I could actually work. There’s an extensive background check done first and then a bunch of training that has to be completed. I’m just ready to work! We’re not going to be here very long but I’m ready to get out of the house and start earning some money. I feel like I contribute nothing as far as money goes. I worked in GA but had to stop because of the crazy pregnancy nausea/vomiting/dizziness/blah blah blah.

Evan and I went to a briefing tonight about how the Army will choose where we go after the career course. The brief was informative and everything was going great until the guy running it said that the husbands needed to let their instructor know if their wife was pregnant. He’s like “We don’t want to send you to a new duty station right away when the career course is over if your wife is 8 and a half months pregnant”. It took everything in me not to start crying right then and there because that would have been our situation if it wasn’t for the miscarriage. Every time I start to feel “ok” with the situation, something comes up to remind me of what we should have had.

Good news finally… AF finally made an appearance today! I was hoping that it would come back on it’s own instead of having to take pills to start it up. We’ve both agreed that we will start trying again next cycle. Hopefully things go well and I won’t need to go to the RE. I’m hoping and praying that this will happen for us!

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2 thoughts on “Mixed emotions

  1. Ben and Katie

    Well, that is amazing that AF came on her own for a vistit! It is about time she took the time to visit on her own free will! I have the same feelings about going on strike with FB…it is babyville and some people put up the most rediculous posts!Praying with you lady! You are loved!!Ps…pray for me…AF has not visited for a few months and there is NO way that I am prego!

    Reply
  2. Lauren

    I watched a movie last night – "Away We Go". It's a great movie except for the fact that one of the characters has a miscarriage and that sent me into tears for about a half hour. I feel like the world hates me and keeps sending me these reminders that I failed. No AF for you? Have you talked to a doctor? I missed mine for 4 months and that was definitely abnormal and needed to be checked out.

    Reply

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