It’s over

After spending what seemed like an eternity in the ER this morning (even though it was only 4 hours), I was told that my betas did drop from 27 on Thursday to 8.2 today. Obviously levels dropping does in fact mean I miscarried. Thankfully, an ectopic pregnancy was ruled out though. The doctor said the pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy and probably wasn’t even viable from the beginning and to treat Thursday as cycle day 1. Can’t say that made me feel any better. A loss is still a loss no matter when it happens. I’m still supposed to follow up with a to be determined OB later in the week. My insurance company is trying to push through the referral so I can get assigned to a practice. I’m trying to go off-post because on-post is so overcrowded already. Still no word from the RE’s office so I don’t think I’m really going to get any answers until I actually get in to see him. I really don’t want to do any more rounds of C.lomid. I’m ready to move onto the next step which should be IUI. The drugs are obviously helping me get pregnant, but for some unknown reason, I can’t stay pregnant.

Evan’s unit is trying to send him home but we’re running into some difficulties there. I told him not to push it and stay where he is. I know he’s worried about me and I love him for wanting to come home but he just started a new job and I don’t want him to miss out on training and work. He’s trying to get wives from the unit to call me but honestly I really don’t feel like talking to anyone. I talked things over with my best friend on the phone yesterday and it did help a little. I’m still very upset but I can’t cry anymore. I think my body is out of tears today. I’m going to try and take it easy until I see the OB and I guess we’ll see where it goes from there. I’d love some answers and to move onto different treatment options. It just doesn’t seem fair that we can’t have what we want most in life.


3 thoughts on “It’s over

  1. Kelly

    I was hoping to read some better news today. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can get into a practice that will monitor you from the minute you find out your pregnant. (or even follow you from ovulation) Maybe you need to be on progesterone or something else. The only way they'll know this is to take blood every so many days. A chemical pregnancy is still a loss. I had people try to tell me it isn't a loss. Well, it is and don't let anyone try to tell you it isn't. I'm here if you need someone.

  2. Ben and Katie

    Hey there! My heart and prayers are with you! You know I am here for you ALWAYS!! I would let Evan come home and be with you…he needs to and wants to! If they say he can still!!You are a rock solid girl and despite all the crap and everything going on that can get you down in the dumps I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!Love you!!


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