So much for no side effects

I really believed that I wouldn’t have any side effects from the increased dosage of C.lomid. Totally wrong on that one. I’ve been taking it since Wednesday and the past 3 days have been particularly rough. I’ve been so emotional and I can’t stand it. Just thinking about the upcoming holiday makes me sadder than usual. I keep thinking that we should have a 2 month old baby to love, care for and to introduce to extended family at Christmas. Instead, I have to sit in this house with the dogs, thinking about what could have been.

I feel jealous because of my 4 friends who have December due dates are getting ready to welcome their own babies into the world. Why don’t I get my chance? I look at all the medicine I have to take everyday and can’t understand why this comes so easy to some, while others have to suffer through infertility. I was talking to a friend the other day and I told her I was going to try and be more optimistic about everything from now on. Optimism is currently absent from the picture. I really don’t like feeling sorry for myself but that’s just what’s going on right now. I found out that Evan will be headed off for another training session next month and we’ll miss out on my January cycle. If I don’t get pregnant this time around, we only have one more shot before deployment. I guess I’ll just have to call Dr. P. and figure out what the next step should be for February if needed. Will this ever get easier?

3 thoughts on “So much for no side effects

  1. Mrs. H

    I can only imagine the frustration you are feeling, but I hope you are able to find comfort in knowing that God is in control, always. I know of two couples personally who dealt with infertility issues for several years. It was when they actually stopped trying that two pink lines showed up on a stick one day. Sometimes our mind has way too much "say" in what our body goes through, and if we are constantly thinking about something too much, it messes with our body.I hope things work out for the two of you. I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers!

  2. Lovin Ma Soldier

    Sorry you're having a rough day! I know it's hard to see so many people have what you want. 😦 I hope this cycle with clomid works!! I'm here if you ever need to vent or get out of the house when deployment gets under way!


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