I was looking through some old pictures tonight so I thought I would share some of my favorites that I’ve taken over the past few years. I hope you enjoy them!
(Charleston, SC – 2006)
(Cape Fear River Trail – 2008)
(Cape Fear River Trail – 2008)
(Paris – 2008)
(Paris – 2008)
(Italy – 2008)
(Greece – 2008)
(Switzerland – 2008)
(Switzerland – 2008)
(Atlanta – 2009)
(Costa Maya, Mexico – 2009)
(Bisbee, AZ – 2010)
(Flagstaff, AZ – 2010)
(Flagstaff, AZ – 2010)
(Tucson, AZ – 2010)
…until last night when I got a reminder that I’m a failure when it comes to having babies. I finally received the last of the tax documents in the mail last week, so I was able to send off the paperwork to our accountant. I received an email last night with some questions about our paperwork before they started working on our taxes. The first 5 questions were standard, run of the mill questions but the last one is what hurt.
6. Did you have a child in 2010. For some reason I thought you might have. If you did, I need name, social security number and date of birth. If you did not please excuse this question as I must be thinking of someone else.
Last year when we were filling out our tax survey, it asked if we would be adding any dependents for the following tax year. I was pregnant at time so of course I wrote down that we would have an additional dependent. Little did I know that this lady would have remembered and asked. Obviously she couldn’t have known about the miscarriage, but it still hurt when I read that question. This cycle is being atrocious. I’m on cycle day 26 – no ovulation and spotting for the past 4 days. If nothing happens this weekend, I guess I’ll be on the phone with Nurse D on Monday.
Awesomeness = Finally being caught up with “How I Met Your Mother”
The new semester started yesterday so I logged in to my virtual classroom and reviewed the weekly schedule for each of my classes. Let me tell you, there is a lot of work to be done over the next 10 weeks. I thought my Language Arts class was writing intensive when I took it in Georgia. This class blows that one out of the water. There are lesson plans, papers, and interviews galore. Good thing I don’t mind writing.
I’m really excited for my Children’s Literature class. This was one of my favorite classes I took in Georgia and I’m so glad that I can take this as one of my master’s electives. My professor seems very enthusiastic about the subject and there are some fun projects that we’ll be working on this semester. It’s also a great class to go along with the Language Arts class.
My last class is another special education class. This one is a follow up to last semester’s special education class and requires 20 hours of observation. I’ll actually get to co-teach a lesson with my cooperating teacher. I’m looking forward to actually doing something other than just sitting back and taking notes for the entire 20 hours. I emailed the principal at the school I worked with last semester, so hopefully I hear back from her soon. There is a 4th grade teacher that I would love to work with for this class.
I think this semester is going to be a lot of work but it looks like the classes are going to be interesting and fun. We’ll see how I feel about all of this in a few weeks though when the work starts to pile up.
Wow. I’ve been looking at my previous blog posts from this month and man, I am depressing. Instead of my standard complaining, I thought I’d write a more positive and upbeat post for a change of pace.
I just finished up my first quarter of online classes. Final grades were posted on Wednesday and I’m happy to report that I earned 2 A’s. I also received A’s in my Biology and Bio lab classes so the 4.0 stays alive for now. I’m in the last week of my geography class and I’m definitely ready for this one to be over. My new semester of education classes starts on Monday morning. I’ll be taking 2 classes that I’ve taken before while I was going to school in Georgia (Language Arts and Children’s Literature) in addition to another class (The Inclusive Classroom).
So I’ve been debating for the last few months whether or not I should switch my program from strictly a teaching certification program to a master’s degree program. My advisor and I spoke at the beginning of the week and worked out a plan so I could still be finished in June 2012. I have to take 3 graduate classes each quarter up until student teaching next March but this allows every class to still be covered by the G.I. Bill. I’m so glad we were able to figure this out because this school is not cheap! They charge $2,000 per 3 credit grad class. It’s going be a challenge, but I’m definitely up for it. Next year, I will have my teaching certification, as well as my Master’s in Teaching Learning and Curriculum Design. I’m so ready to have my own classroom!
Also required for my certification is the P.raxis test. This is a series of 3 tests and I took the first part last Monday. I was so nervous because the practice tests were hard and I needed a 172 in both reading and math and a 176 in writing. I got my scores immediately for reading and math. I scored a 183 in reading and a 181 in math (shocking). I’m terrible at math so I was surprised to see how well I actually did. I have to wait about 2 more weeks to find out my writing score because my essay needed to be graded. Hopefully I did just as well. I’ll be taking the final two sections of the test sometime in the early fall before student teaching.
Coming up later this weekend a post on my gluten free diet!
This week has really sucked so I’m glad it’s finally Friday.
Here are the questions for the Milspouse Friday Fill-in. Head over to Wifey’s blog
to link up your blog!
My must have gadget is probably my Ipod. It’s definitely necessary for the gym because time goes by so much faster when you’re listening to some good, upbeat music.
2. How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? L to the Third
When I was a little kid, I had always dreamed of being a teacher. I can remember setting up my stuffed animals in rows on the floor so I could have my own classroom in my bedroom. My dream changed when I got to college but now I’m back on the teaching track. In June 2012, I will have earned my teacher’s certification in Elementary Education and my master’s degree in curriculum design. I can’t wait!
My low calorie brownie recipe. If I had more motivation, I would go downstairs and pull the recipe so I could share it. Once I adapt it into a gluten free recipe, I will share it.
I kind of just have to take a step back and tell myself it’ll be ok. I also try to talk problems out with Evan or a friend. Staying busy with school and friends also helps take my mind off things when they get too hard.
5. What piece of advice would you give a brand new Military spouse facing their first deployment? submitted by The Albrecht Squad
Things will be tough especially at first, but you will get through this. Try to stay busy and motivated. Get a job, volunteer, take classes… do something that will occupy some of your time. Exercise is also a great stress reliever and will help you stay healthy and in shape!
On March 25, 2010, I was scheduled for my first ultrasound. I was only 11 weeks at that point, but my 12 week ultrasound got bumped up by a few days because we were getting ready to PCS to Arizona the following week. Evan and I were so excited to see our baby and to hear his/her heartbeat for the first time. I knew at 6 weeks along that I would be having the ultrasound done and I remember anxiously counting down the days. On the day of the appointment, I remember talking to the doctor about just how bad the pregnancy symptoms were getting – dizziness, severe food aversions, all day nausea. All the symptoms pointed towards a normal pregnancy. I didn’t think anything was wrong.
The nurse wheeled in the ultrasound machine, the doctor squirted that icky gel onto my stomach, and started moving the wand around. When she didn’t find the baby within a few seconds, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I knew something was wrong. I squeezed Evan’s hand a little tighter, bracing myself for the words that I knew were coming.
She couldn’t find a heartbeat. I just laid there on the table with my legs up and started crying. I was immediately sent to the lab for bloodwork and to x-ray so I could have an internal ultrasound done. What a sight I must have been for the patients in the hospital that day. I had to walk all the way from one end of the hospital to the other to get to the lab. I was crying so hard but didn’t care who saw me. I remember the ultrasound technician being so cold. I had asked her if she could tell me what she was seeing on the screen but she refused to talk to me at all. My doctor came in the room and told me that our baby had stopped growing at almost 7 weeks. A missed miscarriage had occurred. We had to make a decision about what we would do next. We made the decision to have a D&C done because my body just wasn’t letting go of the pregnancy. I wasn’t going to let my body keep thinking it was pregnant when it wasn’t. I was hurting enough and didn’t need the daily reminders that I wasn’t going to be a mommy yet.
March 25th will always be a tough day. Even though it’s been a year, I still miss my first baby. I should have a 5 month old in my arms right now but I don’t. I still don’t fully understand why my baby was taken from me. I don’t understand why my second baby was taken either. I don’t understand why we haven’t been blessed with another pregnancy yet. There are so many unanswered questions that I fear will never be answered. There’s a saying that God only gives us as much as we can handle. I really don’t know how much more I can handle.