Another (childless) Mother’s Day

I really wish I could push the fast-forward button and skip right over today and head straight to Monday morning.

When we began our TTC journey over 3 years ago, I really didn’t think that I’d be sitting here spending another Mother’s Day without a child of my own.
I’m bitter that my best friend gets to tell her mom today that she’s going to be a grandmother.
I’m sad that my babies are in heaven and not with me.
I’m frustrated that my husband isn’t here and I have to suffer through this day alone.
I hate my body for not cooperating the way it should be. Being on cycle day 60 with no end in sight sucks.
I’m jealous of all those mothers who get to spend this special day with their families.
I’m tired of people telling me that things will happen when they’re supposed to or that things happen for a reason. I’m tired of people not caring how much this hurts me both physically and emotionally. I’m tired of caring about friends and what happens in their lives when they can’t offer that same support to me when I need it the most.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. I don’t know how much longer I can fight for what I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.

5 thoughts on “Another (childless) Mother’s Day

  1. Kelly

    I'm thinking of you. I'm always a phone call away. When I had my mental breakdown the other week, I was half tempted to fly down and visit you.

  2. Brittany

    I know a lot of us were feeling this way this past weekend, and I'm so sorry for that. Just know that I am always appreciative for your support, and I hope I am giving what you need in return. Hang in there and call if you ever need anything.

  3. Lauren

    Brittany – you and Belinda are really the only 2 people who completely understand my situation. I'm so glad that we're friends!

  4. JustHeather

    Your post could have been written by me. I feel the same way. I think the only reason I haven't given up yet, is because if I do give up, I'll never get what I want (pregnancy and then a kid). And I'm not ready to live with that yet.*hugs* I hope you are feeling better today.


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