Monthly Archives: August 2011

You think it would get easier….

…every time another cycle = failure.

After seeing a big temperature drop on Sunday and foolishly thinking that it could have been an implantation dip, AF showed her big, ugly face yet again this morning.

3 IUIs = 3 failures
To top it all off, my luteal phase was only 10 days AND I was on progesterone starting the day of the IUI.
I talked to Nurse D about an hour ago about if there should be/could be another cycle. E will be home for R&R during this cycle; however, I’m worried about the timing. I’ve triggered as early as CD 23, but as late as CD 30. Nurse D assured me that we can stretch the cycle out a bit if needed. I do need to go in for a baseline ultrasound on Wednesday morning to figure out if the cysts are gone from last cycle. We won’t be able to make a decision on what to do until then.
So we have 2 options pending u/s results:
1. No cysts = we go ahead and start injections and either do another IUI or just TI.
2. The cysts are still there = no injections and wait for IVF in the spring.
Again, I’m feeling a crapload of different emotions. I cried for hours today. My BF’s baby shower is in 10 days and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to deal with these emotions. If she wasn’t so supportive of my situation, I would be tempted to blow off the shower and stay at home to mope some more. To top it off, I’ll also be seeing another friend who is about 21 weeks pregnant. I guess I get a 2 for 1 deal. I’ll do my best to hold it together and then deal with the emotions when I’m alone.
AF, you are the biggest bitch in the world. I hate you.

Milspouse Friday Fill-In & Milspouse Weekly Roundup



This week has been dragging by so I’m glad that it’s finally Friday. I’m feeling a bit better than I was in my last blog post – Tuesday and Wednesday were rough! I’m wrapping up my final week of my summer quarter graduate classes. I’m looking forward to having 3 weeks off before the fall quarter begins. I have some big plans for my time off including a trip home for my best friend’s baby shower.

Right now, it’s time for the Milspouse Friday Fill – In. Head over to Wifey’s blog to link up your blog and join in on the fun.
1. The first thing I think of when I get up in the morning is what do I need to get done today?


2. Lately, I’ve been craving going to the gym because I’m not allowed to go right now. I haven’t been to a class in a week now and it’s driving me crazy! The end of this cycle needs to end with a BFP!


3. Whenever anyone says the word basketball , it reminds me of my childhood because I played from 6th grade through high school. Basketball consumed my life during the winter and early spring. I miss playing.


4. The happiest word I know is hope, but sometimes it’s hard to stay hopeful when situations/times are difficult.


5. My spouse may hate it, but I absolutely love watching Food Network and HGTV all the time.
In addition to the Milspouse Friday Fill-In, I also decided to link up with the Milspouse Weekly Roundup. This week’s host is Laura at Between the Lines . Welcome to all readers checking out my blog from the linkup!




Not So Wordless Wednesday

I’ve been having an interesting and painful last few days. On Monday, I felt like I wanted to rip my ovaries out of my body. Yesterday, I experienced the most intense cramps, stomach pain, and lower back pain that I think I’ve ever felt before. I think I got a total of 3 hours sleep last night because laying down was just so uncomfortable. Thankfully, a lot of the pain has finally subsided, but I’m continuing to take it easy today. I ran out to grab some Gatorade and am sitting in bed typing out this blog post right now. I may try to take a short walk around the neighborhood with the dogs later just to get moving a little bit.

My friend Katie posted this amazing quote on her Facebook today. It definitely applies to my situation, as well as some of yours I’m sure.
“When the world say, “Give up.” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” ~ Author Unknown
I hope to have some more positive news in the next week or so. Hope everyone is having a good week.


3 DPO

I was really worried that this cycle was going to be a bust already because we ended up doing the IUI about 15 hours after I gave myself the trigger shot on Thursday night. Most doctors won’t do the IUI until at least 24 hours after; however, we had no other options because my clinic is closed on the weekends. I also had some drama with a slightly expired trigger shot (a.k.a. sent myself into a MAJOR panic attack to where I could barely function for about an hour). I was able to get in contact with a pharmacist who told me that it would be safe to use the trigger and that it should work just fine. Now you know me, I tend to be pessimistic about things (do you blame me after 3 and a half years of setbacks and failures?), but lo and behold, Fertility Friend set my ovulation date on Friday, which was the day of IUI #3!!

This is the second cycle where we’ve had “perfect” timing. If this one doesn’t work, I don’t really know if there’s any point to do another round if E. makes it home on time for his R&R.

August ICLW

Hello fellow ICLWers,

Welcome to my blog! This is my 4th time doing ICLW. I discovered some great blogs and gained a few new followers last month and I’m looking forward to doing the same this time around.
Let me give you some background information – My name is Lauren and I’m 28 years old. I’m married to my wonderful husband E. I’m a proud military spouse, full time graduate student pursuing a master’s degree and certification in elementary education, momma to 2 furbabies, Bella and Murphy, and momma to my 2 angel babies. I love reading, spinning, weight training, baking, cooking, and teaching.
We’ve been TTC for over 4 years now. I was diagnosed with PCOS (lean) last June while we were stationed in Arizona. I have extremely irregular cycles when not on fertility medications(i.e. 146 cycle from hell last summer). I’ve done countless rounds of C.lomid and injectible medications. I’ve had 2 miscarriages – one in March 2009 (11 weeks) and the other in November 2010 (5 and a half weeks). I just had my 3rd IUI done on Friday and am currently in the dreaded two week wait. I stimmed for a full month this cycle and let me tell you, I’m tired of needles!
If this IUI doesn’t work then we have to put fertility treatments on hold until E. returns from his deployment. I’m on the wait list with my RE for an April 2012 IVF cycle but I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that. If you want more information about our TTC history, check out the link at the top of my page.
I’m looking forward to reading new blogs and having new people read mine! Please leave a comment to let me know you stopped by so I can head over to your blog.

Milspouse Friday Fill-In



Well it’s Friday, which means that it’s time for the Milspouse Friday Fill-In. Head over to Wifey’s blog to link up and join in the fun!

1. My spouse and I rarely agree on whether or not he should be able to buy a motorcycle, but always agree on how much money we should be saving every paycheck.


2. If I could use one word to sum up the way I feel right now, it would be tired.


3. One of the things that my spouse does that grosses me out is eating sushi. I can’t understand the obsession with wanting to eat raw fish. I don’t even like eating cooked fish/seafood.


4. My readers may think I’m crazy for doing this, but I really love making daily to-do lists. I wouldn’t get to half of the things I would like to accomplish everyday without one.


5. Frankly, my dear, I don’t want to give myself another shot ever again! Third time’s the charm, right?