Fertile vision

Question: What exactly is fertile vision?

Answer: It’s when I go out to a public place and all I can do is zero in on all the lucky pregnant women. It’s like I have tunnel vision when it comes to pregnancy.
Every time I go out – to T.arget, the mall, S.tarbucks, restaurants, the library, the commissary, etc. – there are always pregnant women. Everywhere I look, there they are. Baby pictures, belly shots, pregnancy announcements are all over F.acebook. If it wasn’t for the chat sessions with E, I would take a FB break because the daily updates and pictures from some friends are overwhelming.
When we weren’t TTC, I don’t think I noticed pregnant women and babies as much. There were probably the same amount of pregnant women around me, but I just didn’t realize it.
It’s frustrating and a little bit insane how much I obsess over getting pregnant/being pregnant again. I think it’s all coming to a boiling point now since we’re on a TTC break for at least another 2 months. The holidays also make it hard to deal with. Another Thanksgiving, birthday, and Christmas goes by without a baby to call our own. I won’t even have a baby to hold in my arms by my 30th birthday. Now hopefully I’ll be pregnant again at that point, but IVF isn’t 100% guaranteed.
Does anyone else have fertile vision or am I just crazy?
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8 thoughts on “Fertile vision

  1. Reccewife

    I'm so sorry that you're facing this over the holidays. Wish there was something useful to say, but that's all I got. I'm sorry and I pray you feel comforted over Christmas and fins sucess for your birthday.

    Reply
  2. ~she~

    So sorry it's so difficult for you right now. Hopefully you'll someday be able to look back on this time and be thankful it's over. A friend of mine explained this same feeling once. She was so jealous of anyone expecting. She explained the relief she felt one day when she finally realized she was truly happy for someone who was pregnant. She never had children but finally found peace with it.I don't know if this story helped or made things worse. I just wish I could find something comforting to say but I probably never could.

    Reply
  3. Mr. and Mrs. Volheim

    Yes, I have this BAD! I just didn't know the name for it. The sad thing is we're not even TTC yet and I see it EVERYwhere. Prayers for you with the holidays, and a fast conception when your TTC break is over!

    Reply
  4. The New "Normal"

    I wish I had comforting words to share, but I'm not sure there are any, especially around the holidays. Just know that I am praying for you and your husband, and hoping this dream comes true for you both very soon!

    Reply
  5. Ericalyn

    I just had the same conversation with my best friend today. I got to talk my feelings out. I use to look forward to deployments because then I didn't have the disappointment of feeling like a failure every month when I didn't get pregnant. I'm 33 and still nothing. Sometimes I just feel like there are no words to express how I feel. I have nobody close to me that is going through the same thing I am and I just don't feel like I can relate to some of them anymore.

    Reply

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