A Follow-up

E and I came to a decision on Sunday night about what to do about this cycle. If you remember in my last post, we weren’t sure whether or not to proceed with another injectable cycle. We decided that the best decision for us was to take a break in between this failed IUI cycle and our IVF cycle. I’m just not in the right mental or emotional state to make it through another potential failed cycle.

This self-imposed break will give me an opportunity to drop a few pounds from the meds and emotional eating (especially over the past few days). Hopefully I can recover from the heartbreak of this failed cycle and get into the right state of mind (whatever that entails) for our IVF cycle.
I spoke to Nurse D yesterday afternoon and we now have a game plan. First, E and I both need to have some blood tests run. I went into the lab and gave away seven vials of blood this morning, so hopefully my results will come back soon. E will be going later in the week depending on his work schedule. I will start birth control pills starting tomorrow. Instead of working through the whole pack, I will only take the active pills up until my baseline ultrasound, which is scheduled for the morning of April 20. I will also have my injections class that morning, even though I already understand the basics of mixing up the drugs. I would assume injections would begin the following day; however, this probably depends on the results of my ultrasound. From what I can remember, the tentative date for the egg retrieval will be May 6.
I guess I feel a little bit better about the looming IVF cycle now that we have a plan in place. I was really hoping that this last IUI cycle would have turned out differently, but it didn’t. At times I feel like I can do nothing right when it comes to this infertility crap. I feel like I’m not only letting myself down, but I’m also letting E and our families down. I know that (most) everything is out of my control, but it’s hard not to blame myself at times. I guess we’ll see what May brings for us. Hopefully it’s good news this time.
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7 thoughts on “A Follow-up

  1. medicalwife

    Sweet friend, not a single bit of these issues is your doing. Sure, it might be your body, but you can't control these particular aspects of your body, or what it's doing inside there. I know it's impossibly difficult to NOT blame yourself, but you've got to know it's not your fault. It's anatomy's fault. EFFING ANATOMY, EFF YOU!Big, BIG hugs to you.

    Reply
  2. a miracle 4 us

    I understand that blame game, I think we all do, as well as feeling as though we let everyone down. Logically we know that is not the case, but emotionally it weighs heavy. My best advice is during this 'off time, go have fun!!! Do something wonerful and new every week (if you can) and make the most of it. Just think of things that will be more difficult to do with a new baby and do them! Hoping great things for you to come 🙂

    Reply
  3. Brittany

    I know you are heart broken that it has come to this, but you have done everything that you can. Easier said than done, but try not to be so hard on yourself. None of this is YOUR fault. I am sending many, many hugs your way and I hope you know that I keep my fingers crossed extra tight for you. Love you, lady!

    Reply

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