Today, October 15, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This is a day to acknowledge and remember all those babies that were lost too soon.
According to the website October15th.com, this day of remembrance is a day “when all grieving parents could come together and be surrounded by love and support from their friends and families, a day where the community could better understand their pain and learn how to reach out to those grieving. This would be a day to reflect on the loss yet embrace the love. While our babies’ lives were so brief, they were also very meaningful.”
Today I will be remembering our two babies as well as the babies of so many friends. I truly wish I didn’t know so many people who have had to experience this heartbreaking pain.
1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. This is sad and shocking statistic. It is also sad and shocking that miscarriage and infant loss are still such taboo topics to talk about. I’ve been open about my miscarriages with family and friends for the past 2 years. I’ve received amazing support from some and have been ignored by others. I know there are many people who are not comfortable talking about their experiences with loss. I wasn’t for the longest time. I wish that people would be more accepting and willing to offer support to those who are in need. I’m so lucky and grateful to those who have offered me support over these past 2 years of dealing with loss and 4 and a half years of dealing with infertility.
The other week, I learned that our Army post was holding a walk to remember event on October 11. I was shocked to learn that the Army was recognizing pregnancy and infant loss because again, this is such a taboo topic. My amazing friend Brittany and I participated in the walk together. Before the walk began, one of the chaplains talked about his own experiences with pregnancy loss. I was saddened to learn that his wife had experienced 3, first trimester losses. Since they didn’t know the gender of their babies, they fondly named their babies Peanut, Button, and Jellybean. It broke my heart as he spoke of his children and how he understands our pain. I cried along with him and others as he recalled his experiences and relived these painful memories. I’ve never experienced a man speaking so candidly and honestly about his experiences with miscarriage. He also talked about how these experiences tested his faith in God. This was especially interesting considering his given profession. He has made peace with God and I really wish that I could say the same.
After the short ceremony, the entire group walked 1 mile in remembrance of our children. After the walk, there was a reveal of a sculpture dedicated to all those babies who have been lost. We placed river rocks beneath the sculpture that had the names of our babies written on them. I plan to visit this area the next time I have an appointment at the hospital. It is nice to know that there is a quiet place where I can reflect and remember my experiences with my babies.
I’ll always remember our babies especially on this day of remembrance. Please light a candle at 7PM to remember and celebrate all of our lost babies.