Monthly Archives: November 2012

Broken Record

Seriously – I feel like a broken record. I’m getting tired of reporting that yet another cycle was a failure. I decided not to blog about this cycle in detail in hopes that I wouldn’t jinx myself and this would be the successful cycle that we have been waiting for.

Wrong.

Here’s a breakdown of what went down.

  • We decided to proceed with the combination of G.onal-F and M.enopur because it worked fairly well during our last IUI cycle as well as during our IVF cycle. 
  • I went in for a follicle check on cycle day 10 and found that I had 1 follicle measuring 12mm, 2 follicles measuring 11mms, and several follicles measuring 10mms. My lining was at a 7 and my estradiol level came back at 182. 
  • I went back for a follow-up on cycle day 12 and found that the follicles had matured. I ended up with 2 follicles measuring 16mms, 1 follicle measuring 15mm, and multiple follicles measuring 13mms and 10mms. My lining was at a 10 and my estradiol level came back at 400. 
  • Because we didn’t want the 13’s and 10’s to mature much more, I stopped the injections and triggered on cycle day 14. It seemed like the drug combination worked a little too well this time around. We feared that the cycle may have been cancelled because of the large amount of follicles. 
  • I ovulated on Saturday and started taking the progesterone on Monday morning. 

I decided to go ahead and test the following Wednesday at 11 DPO.

Negative.

I tested on Thursday.

Negative.

I tested on Friday.

Negative.

I decided to withhold the information from E until Friday because I didn’t want to ruin his Thanksgiving. I managed to hold it together until Saturday afternoon when we were out running errands. I had a complete breakdown in the car. Ugh.

So….

IVF 2.0 looms in the not so distant future.

I know I said that we would only do IVF once, but deep down, I’m not ready to give up on having a biological child.

That being said, this is our last attempt. If we want to pursue adoption if this next attempt fails (which I hope it doesn’t), then we have to draw the line somewhere.

I had an anxiety attack the other night just thinking about doing another round of IVF. I have an irrational fear that E will resent me if this doesn’t work again. We talked it out last night and he calmed me down.

Our tentative timeline has my baseline ultrasound scheduled on January 9th. I should begin meds shortly after. Retrievals are scheduled for the last week of January and the first week of February with transfers occurring 3 days after the retrievals.

Our protocol is up in the air right now. I have 2 options:

1) Stick with the microdose L.upron flare protocol

or

2) Switch to an antagon cycle where the L.upron would be replaced by G.anirelix

We have time to think about this, so I’m weighing the pros and cons of each protocol.

Also, I’m adding in some supplements that have helped friends during their second attempts at IVF. Let’s hope they also work for me.

Guess we’re back in the waiting game. The waiting game sucks.

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Thankful

While this year has not panned out quite the way that I would have liked it to, there are still so many things in my life that I am thankful for.

  • First and foremost, I’m thankful for E. He’s my husband, best friend, and biggest supporter. We’ve had our ups and downs just like any other couple, but I love him with all my heart. I can’t believe that in less than a month, we’ll be celebrating our 6th anniversary. 
  • Bella and Murphy. Our dogs have kept me company through a year-long deployment. They’re my constant companions. They love us unconditionally and provide much laughter and love in this household. 
  • My friends – near and far – new and old – those that I’ve met and those that I’ve only “met” online – I don’t know where I would be without all the support and love that I have received especially as we navigate through all of these fertility treatments and continue to experience heartbreak and failure. Everyone has been so supportive and offered encouragement in so many different ways. I appreciate and love every single one of you. 
  • My education and my job – I was so happy to finally finish my Master’s degree program this past June and receive my teaching certification after embarking on my educational journey almost 3 years ago. While I don’t have a full-time position at the moment, I’m thankful that I get to work with different groups of students and teach them even if it’s just for a short time. I’ve been learning about different teaching styles and finding out what works and doesn’t work with students. I’m gathering so much information to hopefully use in my own classroom someday. 

Also, I know there are so many of you out there who are just like me. Dreading spending another holiday as a childless couple. It sucks. Completely sucks. I hope that we’re all spending the holidays next year with the babies that we’ve been trying, hoping, and praying for so hard. It’s so easy to give up, but keep fighting for what you want and deserve. We WILL be mothers and fathers someday. Someday sooner rather than later I hope.

Where Did November Go?

I can’t believe it’s already November 20th and that it will be Thanksgiving in just 2 days. I’ve been busy completing long-term substitute teaching jobs in both kindergarten and pre-kindergarten classrooms, so there hasn’t been much time for anything. I already have another long-term job lined up in a first grade classroom starting on the 30th and it will run until Christmas break begins.

Not much news on the fertility front. Currently in the 2 week wait. Infertility exhausts me at the moment; therefore, I will not elaborate on this cycle. I will sometime in the near future if anyone was wondering what has been going on.

We’re hosting Thanksgiving this year! We’re having some great friends over to share in our feast. E has also extended an invitation to a new co-worker who has just PCS’ed from Germany. I’ve been involved in a frenzy of menu preparations and pre-Thanksgiving cleaning for the past few days. Tomorrow is my big day of cleaning and prepping as much food as I can to take off some of the pressure on Thursday.

I hope to get back on and write a real update on Friday since I’ll be staying put. No Black Friday shopping for this household. Hope everyone has a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.

Milspouse (First) Friday Fill-In

It’s been a long time since I participated in a Friday Fill-In due to school, work, laziness, etc. Since today is a teacher workday, I have plenty of time to answer the questions provided by Wife of a Sailor. Head over to her blog to link up!

1. What’s one thing in the past month that you would have changed?

I wish that I would have eaten better. I have the exercise portion of the weight loss equation down, but my diet has been awful. I’m stuck in this vicious cycle of stress eating and I can’t seem to get out of it.

2. What was your favorite thing that happened in October?

Can I have two favorite things?

The first was starting injections again, which will hopefully result in our miracle baby later this month. The second was getting to sub for a week and a half in a kindergarten classroom. It was a great experience and I had a great group of kids to work with.

3. What dish makes the Thanksgiving holiday for you? (Bonus points if you share the recipe.)

My favorite Thanksgiving dish is my Oatmeal Nut Crunch Apple Pie. So delicious and easy to make. It’s also healthier since it’s from Eating Well!

4. Check out my post from yesterday… will you be participating in the Milspouse Secret Santa? 

I’m thinking about it. 🙂

5. What are you looking forward to in December? 

There are many things to celebrate in December. My birthday is on the 6th, our 6th anniversary is on the 16th, and of course Christmas is on the 25th. I’m looking forward to finding that perfect gift for E and shopping, baking, and creating for others. Finally, I’m looking forward to a cookie swap party that I’m hosting on the 8th. December rocks!