Let me preface this post by saying that these are my personal opinions on surrogacy. I’m not implying in any way that surrogacy shouldn’t be an option for others.
Ever since our first IVF cycle failed, a few people have asked me the question, “Have you ever considered surrogacy?” My response to the question has always been, “We have, but it’s not an option for us.”
Said people have asked why we won’t consider surrogacy as an option to expand our family. I have three reasons.
1. I want to know what it feels like the be pregnant. I want this coveted job. Even though I’ve been pregnant twice (three times if you count the chemical pregnancy), I’ve never actually felt my babies moving. I’ve never felt the kicking. The only thing I’ve felt is the nausea. I want to experience movement. I want to experience labor even though the thought of it terrifies me. I want to see my baby in my stomach up on the ultrasound screen. I’ve been robbed of all these wonderful experiences and moments so far.
2. The chance of another miscarriage. We don’t know why our embryos aren’t sticking around. It could be chromosomal issues or implantation issues. Hell – it could be a combination of both for all we know. I don’t want to risk putting someone else through a miscarriage. Miscarriages are physically, emotionally, and mentally devastating. Based on my past history, I couldn’t risk it.
3. Cost. Surrogates can cost upwards of $20,000+. We didn’t even pay that much money for a round of IVF. If we did decide to go down the surrogacy route and it didn’t work, then we wouldn’t have enough funds for adoption.
Does anyone else share my views (or at least some of them)? I feel like they’re all rational and shows why surrogacy is just not a good option for my family.