There’s one phrase that I’ve seen floating around lately that has been rubbing me the wrong way – “You deserve it”.
Of course I mean this in regards to someone finally achieving pregnancy status. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m happy for everyone who wants to get pregnant when they finally achieve this long-awaited goal. However. Doesn’t everyone who wants to get pregnant for the right reasons deserve to be pregnant? Doesn’t everyone deserve the love of a child if that’s what they want in life? Doesn’t everyone deserve to grow their family if that’s what they desire?
I was chatting with a good friend about this statement and related questions just the other night. As we were discussing this, she made a valid point – “By saying you deserve it, that says that anyone who can’t make it happen is because they don’t deserve it.”
This got me thinking. What if our last FET cycle is a bust? Does that mean that I don’t deserve to be a mother to biological children? What if for some reason adoption falls through? Does that mean that I don’t deserve to be a mother to any child? These thoughts make me question life decisions that I have made in the past. What did I do that was so wrong that I don’t deserve to be a mother?
I guess all I’m saying in this mini confessional is to think before you make this statement. Realize that there are so many men, women, and couples who want to expand their family, but can’t. Everyone equally deserves to achieve their goal of being parents in some way even if that means not achieving pregnancy.